Throughout my life, I’ve often hidden my feelings, especially the unpleasant ones such as fear, sadness, loneliness, sometimes anger. It’s not that I was ashamed of them, it was more of me not wanting to seem weak, or not wanting to hurt someone (when feeling angry).
What happens next is you pretend that everything is ok, but deep down you are hurting. With time you build up a wall around you, projecting an image of yourself to the outer world, but this image doesn’t show the whole you, and because you don’t show people that sad, lonely, hurt, or angry part of you, you start thinking that people will not like this part, that they will not like you for your true you. And then your confidence and self-esteem begin to feel the consequences of your actions – they get low and then you start beating yourself for it, which only makes you enter a vicious circle.
What you should remember in such times is that we are all just people, we are all human, meaning that we all feel fear, we all get sad, we all get angry at times, so it is perfectly natural to feel them. Don’t hide it because you are only hurting yourself, let them out in appropriate manner (especially anger).
Letting things out helps us get the tension out, not letting it build inside and then explode at least appropriate moment. What usually happens when sharing how we feel with our loved ones is they offer us a shoulder to lean on, perhaps some words of advice that might help us get through what we are going, they encourage us, and motivate us. Sharing our feelings and emotions with others makes us connect with them, it makes us feel closer to them because often they share their feelings and emotions with us in return, it helps ease the burden we carry when we think we are alone in this, and thus makes us feel better inside. With all these benefits I need to remember to open up and share more in the future.